Play Dates & Gun Safety: What Parents Need to Know

As parents, planning play dates is part of our daily charge. We ask about food allergies, screen time, pets, and more—but one critical topic too often gets left out of the conversation or is consciously avoided because it’s seemingly too political: guns in the home.

VFC believe there is no need for partisan divides when it comes to keeping our kids safe. We believe every child has the right to be safe—especially in places meant for fun and friendship. That’s why we encourage parents and caregivers to make asking about guns as normal as asking about snacks or car seats. It’s not about politics. It’s about protecting our kids.

Why?

Well the unfortunate reality is that nearly 4.6 million children in the U.S. live in homes with guns that are unlocked and loaded. Every year, hundreds access firearms—often by accident—with fatal, devastating impact. Most unintentional shootings by children happen in the home or in a friend’s home. But they are preventable with safe storage - and communication.

Talking about gun safety may feel awkward, but the peace of mind it brings is so worth it. And the more we ask, the more we normalize the conversation—just like food allergies, seat belts and bike helmets.

The Conversation: Parent to Parent

Whether it’s your first playdate with a new family or a regular hangout, here are some simple, nonjudgmental ways to ask about guns in the home:

1. Begin with neutral but shared concern: “Before we finalize plans, I just wanted to check—do you keep any guns in your home? If so, are they stored locked and unloaded?”

2. Fold it into the usual checklist: “When my kids go on playdates, I always ask a few questions—like about food allergies, pets, screen time, and if there are any guns in the house, and how they’re stored. Hope you don’t mind me asking but it’s important to us that we know.

3. Proactively offer the same information about your own home: “We don’t have guns in our home, but I’ve been trying to get better about asking others just to make sure everything’s stored safely.”

4. Be quick and clear: “Quick safety check: Any unsecured guns in the home?”

If you’re worried about how someone might respond, remember—you’re just asking basic safety questions. You’re advocating for your child. Most parents will understand and appreciate your thoughtfulness, even if they’ve never been asked before.

The Conversation: Parent to Child

It is important to remember that the goal in talking to children about guns is to help them process their world. Keeping guns away from children is always the responsibility of adults. One study found that young children who go through a week-long gun safety training are just as likely as children with no training to approach or play with a handgun when they find one (Be Smart).

With so many important topics, it's important to be able to be a resource for your child for questions they have about their world and have them know they can have open conversations with you. Here’s some tips for speaking to your child about gun safety:

1. Be clear about the actions required — “If you ever see a gun, even if it looks like a toy, stop right away. Don’t touch it. Leave the area and tell a grown-up you trust - or call me immediately.”

2. Normalize safety talk. “Just like you know what to do if you see a fire or get lost, this is something to keep you safe.”

3. Encourage open communication. “If you ever feel uncomfortable or unsure at a friend’s house, you can always call me, no matter what.”

ASK Day

If you’re reading this you probably already know a bit about VFC but in case you’re not, many of us are parents in addition to being advocates. In these roles, we often question, and we are motivated to use our voices even when it feels uncomfortable. Normalizing conversations around gun safety is one more way we show love for our children and our communities.

In supporting one another in making these conversations part of the norm, we all win. Every time a parent asks about gun safety before a playdate, we move closer to a world where all children are safe—wherever they play.

Today, June 21st is Asking Saves Kids (ASK) Day— a date when we remind parents and caretakers to ask: “Is there an unlocked gun where my child plays?" Each year, ASK Day marks the beginning of summer when kids typically have more unsupervised time and spend more time at the homes of friends and family members. To learn more, visit Brady’s ASK campaign at ASKingSavesKids.org.